The Doing Method and why it pays to sleep with Tim Ferriss

by Stephen

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So let’s be frank, nobody wants to talk about it, in fact despite all the media hype “The Fifteen Minute Female Orgasm” has received little attention.

Even when Tim was on the “View” surrounded by a large percentage of (I suspect based on the Kinsey study mentioned in his book) an-orgasmic women; the topic of female orgasm was not even mentioned.

Later, in a brief visit with Dr. Oz,  again no mention. I don’t necessarily find this surprising, but definitely alarming.

The truth of the matter is that despite the incredibly lucrative sex industry in America, to talk about sex is still considered taboo. And this is a big part of the problem.  What this reveals is that both men and women are afraid to discuss the topic.

I assume that like myself most of us feel self conscious when we talk about sex, even with our  partners. So I applaud Tim for his work in this chapter and was excited to see how Tim could make me: a 33 year old happily married man with 2 kids a “superhuman sex machine.” And then prove to me that I was not already!

So, after I downloaded my kindle copy of The Four Hour Body, I immediately got to work. After reading the aforementioned chapter I figured that I would have to give it a try. And as luck would have it, my wife and I were set of for an overnighter in a romantic getaway for the first time since the birth of our 8 month old son. The stars seemed appropriately aligned, now I just had to figure out how to execute my delicate plan.

I decided to wet her appetite the night before, unfortunately since I am a scientific type I may have made this sound less romantic and more like a grand experiment. But, I reassured her that the worst case scenario was an uncomfortably odd 15 minutes, and the best case scenario: well we all know what that is. Surprisingly she was extremely open to the idea.

I organized 4 things

  1. iPhone (set to 15 minute countdown)
  2. Believe it or not my HP Touch smart Tm2t Tablet Computer on which I had stored the digital copy of the book (I kept forgetting the instructions and needed a reference) of course the actual book would be a very good substitute.
  3. Personal Lubricant (this was something that was not mentioned in the book but should have been)
  4. My personal mantra via Tim:

    “I am going to touch you for 15 minutes you don’t need to do anything, and you don’t have to do anything afterward. There is nowhere to get to, nothing to make happen. Just focus on the single point of contact. It’s an exercise.”

    (I would recommend trying to memorize this part, reading it from my tablet proved a distraction)

With this we set to work. As you can imagine setting everything up and getting into position proved to be the most difficult part. And needless to say my body, especially my hand was a bit uncomfortable. How did the session go:

  1. My wife tried to speed things up at the beginning , and I started to ask her how it seemed to be going. But, we both slowed down. I stopped fishing for suggestions and went back to the mantra. She relaxed and so did I this was a big help.
  2. It was harder than I could have imagined to find the right spot, hence Tim’s suggestion to try this over several sessions would be ideal.
  3. I think taking “Tim to bed” with his notes really helped at first, and I have decided that there needs to be an app for that. See below
  4. This was a great experience in communication and taking time again to explore your partners body.
  5. It was sexy trying to please my wife, it is a lesson despite it’s scientific approach in love making, It made me a more informed partner and I hope this has also helped my wife get more in touch with her body.
  6. We have yet to try the method again and it has been over a month, but that has more to do with the fact that we live in a tiny home and we need to schedule some time for these things now a days, with the kids and all.

Some Useful Links:

  • If you missed it this free chapter was given away by Tim himself. This is the original free Fifteen Minute Orgasm Chapter (maybe you could put this on your phone or even better make this in to an app) it may save some embarrassment. If you click on the link you can download the chapter via PDF to your i-phone or android device, this would be an excellent idea! Or you can just use your laptop like I did.
  • Download The 4 HOUR BODY-15 MINUTE ORGASM

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{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }

Joanna Cake May 28, 2011 at 12:19 pm

Hey Stephen

My lover, Ruf, is also doing the 4 Hour Body and so we happened upon this particular chapter with very productive effects :)

The more you read it, the more you understand; the more you try it, the more effective the technique becomes.

I found you when I was googling ‘The Doing Method’ for more info and really enjoyed the write up of your first go – it is so important that this is a joint venture/experiment for you as a couple. As Tim says, a man cannot make a woman orgasm, only help her to do it for herself.

Thank you so much for the link to the free PDF, I was not aware of that and it will be great to be able to go away for the weekend with it on the phone and not have to lug the hefty tome in the goody bag as well :)

With Best Wishes
Joanna x

Reply

Stephen May 31, 2011 at 8:28 am

Best of luck to you Joanna, you really summed it up with your statement again “a man cannot make a woman orgasm, only help her do it for herself”. Thank you for reiterating that point and I hope you have an enjoyable weekend!

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James July 14, 2011 at 5:27 am

Nice try, keep going.

Don’t use the only a woman can make herself excuse! I’m also 100% with it, this stuff works (and should be taught to everyone!).

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Stephen July 14, 2011 at 12:19 pm

I very much agree James! My only disappointment is that organizations like OneTaste who teach these methods are still unfortunately out of the reach of most people. Mostly due to cost. And our healthcare “industry” is not even close to embracing these “alternative” methods to helping couples. As a practitioner I hope to see these methods become mainstream, I can not tell you how many couples come to me on a weekly basis asking for medicines to help stimulate their libido. Every year we continue to further the notion of “sexual desire disorder” which places the blame once again on women. Thank you for your comment and your support!

Stephen

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LaMont Cranston August 24, 2011 at 6:14 pm

Stephen, I’m enjoying your website, and I just read this part of the blog. First of all, let me say that the information being dispensed by Nicole and the One Taste people is very good information. It is valid, it works and it can have your life go in new and better directions.

That being said, I find that a lot of the information being dispensed by life coaches, would-be gurus and other authorities on what we should be doing with our lives, is based on principles that are time honored and quite sound with some of their own stuff mixed in. There’s nothing wrong with that, but the would-be gurus material may not be that sound. I’d like you to consider that sex and sensuality are just parts of a man/woman relationship, and it could be that the reason you didn’t OM your wife for at least 30 days after your first attempt may have to do with things that are happening in other parts of your relationship besides living in a small house and having kids.

I’ve often said that if a guy hasn’t down a bunch of crazy, stupid stuff in the name of women hasn’t led a very interesting life. I’m happy to report that I’ve led a very interesting life, and I’ve had to learn many of my crazy and stupid things the hard way. I can tell that you’re that kind of guy too.

I have no doubt that you may have the absolute best of intentions regarding your wife, but good intentions will not always succeed, especially if you’re dealing with lousy information. I’m all for spreading greater understanding about sensuality among my fellow human beings, but I’m mostly about spreading greater love and understanding among those same folks. I’m also aware that, most likely, more sensitive, turned-on people will create a kinder, gentler world, and I kind of doubt that sensuality is the entire path to getting to that place.

From what I can tell, love is the way to get there. See you soon, LaMont

PS: LaMont Cranston is the secret identity of The Shadow, my kind of superhero! The Shadow Knows!

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Mark October 7, 2011 at 3:42 pm

So I know this was written at the beginning of the year, but it made me laugh so I figured I’d comment. Ever improve upon your “technique” when it comes to this? In my personal opinion the information in this section was a huge disappointment in that it’s really nothing new for someone who has taken the opportunity to explore with their fingers in their significant (or not so significant) others.

In regards to your method: Don’t worry about going so much by the book. If you follow basically what he said after a little foreplay the girl should be focused enough on what you’re doing with your hands to her for it to be quite effective. My personal advise: Just experiment with different sexual positions once in awhile.

Best of luck!
Mark

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Stephen October 7, 2011 at 8:32 pm

Actually as I go back and read this post, it makes me laugh as well!

As far as technique is concerned definitely having the chance to go to OneTaste and meet Nicole was both incredibly frightening and a bit enlightening but in the end I would say this. The whole experience just brought back a spark that I think all couples need from time to time. Especially after the birth of a second child, work and life commitments that add up and make it ever more difficult to be intimate with our partners. Months later life finds a way of returning to that gentle idle where life is comfortable. And it is in this place that a book can be influential.

But you are so right. We don’t “OM” per say or make a “nest” and set a timer as is recommended, it can be groundbreaking for some couples (or so it seems after attending the couples retreat) But for my wife and I as you said after a little foreplay a hand can be quite effective and mixing it up is in all areas the spice of life!

Thanks for taking the time to leave a comment!

Take care
Stephen

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Neshoma Meyer December 26, 2011 at 5:05 pm

Liked the info about the DOing method and your personal experience, I know that Tim Ferris recommends the 15 minutes of DOing and I have looked into it and done some more research myself about DOing, stands for having a deliberate orgasm. There’s quite a lot of information from welcomed.com including instructional videos. I love the standpoint of having another way to relate with my partner about our sex life and I have gotten a lot out of the dvd’s. Have you seen them? Thank you for your time and candidness Stephen.

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pimpblogs.com April 8, 2013 at 5:01 pm

Greetings from Los angeles! I’m bored to tears at work so I decided to browse your website on my iphone during lunch break. I love the info you provide here and can’t wait to take a look when I get home.
I’m amazed at how fast your blog loaded on my phone .. I’m not even
using WIFI, just 3G .. Anyhow, good site!

Reply

Stephen April 8, 2013 at 11:04 pm

Thanks from NorCal! Nothing like a lunch break browsing session, I have had many myself. I am happy to hear the site is fast. I just implemented the Google Pagespeed service about a month ago and it literally halved my load times. Before that I wouldn’t even wait for my own pages to load, which I figured was probably not a good sign.

Take care, thanks for dropping a line.

Stephen

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