It is not the man who has too little, but the man who craves more, that is poor. – Seneca, Letters from a Stoic<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n Sometimes in life we find ourselves in surprising places, for example how in God’s good name did my picture end up next to Pat Flynn and Paul Jarvis? Even in my photoshopped wet dreams I could not have conjured this one, but there it is. So I took a screenshot.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n I stared mouth wide open at this photo for some time this morning, wiping the drool off my face while eating my slow carb breakfast. \u00a0The story of how this photo came to be seemed complex at first, but then I thought about a surprising email exchange I had with Pat last Friday night at 1am that made everything clear.<\/p>\n Our email exchange ended like this:<\/p>\n Stephen, in bed, headed to bed (and I know I shouldn’t be checking my email here but…hehe) but read your email, and just wanted to say two things:<\/p>\n 1) Thank you. G’nite! At 1 am Pat Flynn taught me something (everything) I needed to know about how to be successful in this world, and he did it in two words:<\/p>\n (excerpt by: Gary Koriosko<\/a>)<\/p>\n Have you ever noticed that you feel compelled to do something for people who have helped you along the way \u2013 even if they haven’t asked you to?<\/p>\n There\u2019s something very powerful at play that causes this phenomenon.<\/p>\n Social psychologists call it\u00a0The Law of Reciprocity<\/strong>\u2013 and it basically says that when someone does something nice for you, you will have a deep-rooted psychological urge to do something nice in return.<\/p>\n As a matter of fact, you may even reciprocate with a gesture far more generous than their original good deed. You can try to resist this law, but as a human, you will more than likely still feel that you need to respond in kind to a good deed.<\/p>\n If that\u2019s true (and it is) then it would be to your advantage to understand the right way \u2013 and the wrong way to take advantage of this powerful law.<\/p>\n As someone who is running (or is aspiring to run) their own business, there are a couple of ways you can choose to use this power: for good \u2013 or for evil. Or, for our purposes,\u00a0the right way<\/strong>\u00a0and the\u00a0wrong way<\/strong>.<\/p>\n One of the hardest parts of a new business relationship is\u00a0building trust\u00a0and rapport. And to do that, there are some things you have to establish up front with a new prospect to show them you\u2019re one of the good guys.<\/p>\n Things like<\/p>\n So, if you really are one of the good guys, you can show people what you\u2019re made of simply by being friendly, honest, and helpful. That\u2019s the idea behind a lot of the freebies that bloggers give away all the time. By giving something that\u2019s of legitimate value away with no expectation of compensation, you\u2019re achieving several things.<\/p>\n And in the process, you put\u00a0The Law of Reciprocity<\/a>\u00a0into play. When you establish yourself as an honest, sincere, and giving person \u2013 you make it much easier for people to buy from you when you have something to offer.<\/p>\n At that point they already like you, they have seen that you know your stuff, and they trust you. All that makes it much easier for them to choose you.<\/p>\n While responding to The Law of Reciprocity is hard-wired into us, most people aren’t stupid. If the law is exploited as a tactic, they can smell it from a mile away and it won\u2019t work. At least it won\u2019t work long-term.<\/p>\n Exploiting the law means using it as a front. Pretending to be sincere and helpful only to trick people into feeling a sense of obligation to a future sales pitch. Lousy salespeople are easy to find \u2013 and when someone is using reciprocity as a pressure tactic, it\u2019s obvious.<\/p>\n You\u2019ve been there as a consumer. I\u2019ll bet you don\u2019t have to go back very far in your memory bank to remember a time when someone seemed a little too nice. Even though they were doing something positive for you, you still instinctively didn\u2019t trust them.<\/p>\n That\u2019s because their intentions weren\u2019t sincere and you sensed it. Using the law that way may trick someone from time to time, but it likely won\u2019t lead to repeat sales, good will, or referrals. Pressured prospects tend to disappear quietly. Sometimes not so quietly.<\/p>\n The right way to gain maximum benefit from the Law of reciprocity is to use it sincerely and for the right reasons: to help others and to grow your relationships.<\/strong><\/p>\n There is a lot of aggressive sales and marketing advice out there, but listen to it with caution. Consumers are savvier than ever before. Being aggressive tends to offend and alienate. Instead, aim for active.<\/p>\n What\u2019s the difference? Aggressive is relentless and pushy. Active is, well, active. If what you\u2019re selling is truly of value, you don\u2019t have to be a bully to get people to buy. You just have to work hard to get your name out there and develop your brand.<\/p>\n Your offering and your reputation should speak for itself.<\/p>\n Even if you\u2019re coming from a sincere place \u2013 if you tread too closely to the aggressive vs. active line, you run the risk of mistakenly being seen as \u201cone of those pushy marketers.\u201d<\/p>\n Since you are one of the good guys, ask yourself, \u201cWhat small thing can I provide today that my customers can really use?\u201d<\/p>\n And when you come up with an answer \u2013 give it to them. It\u2019s the right thing to do \u2013 and because of The Law of Reciprocity, your customers will gladly return that generosity when you do have something to sell.<\/p>\n Prior to writing this post tonight I was in the process of writing a different post about my income sources, about a few great books I had read recently, and some thoughts on internet business and new tools that may help you on your journey to a passive income stream.<\/p>\n But, I didn’t hit publish.<\/p>\n Nothing in life feels quite as good as helping another human being. I know this because I have been on both ends of the spectrum. Sharing knowledge, using our skills to help someone who may be struggling, creating art that inspires people to find meaning, or that gives them hope or belief in love, kindness or a better life.<\/p>\n This is what the journey is all about.<\/p>\n Free does not mean cheap, I would encourage you to eliminate this way of thinking. Free can be of tremendous value even if it’s rewards are simply a greater platform for your art, or a picture next to one of your internet idols.<\/p>\n I will end this post with one more quote from Seneca, Written in 64 AD by a man who understood the value of time:<\/p>\n What man can you show me who places any value on his time, who reckons the worth of each day, who understands that he is dying daily?<\/p>\n For we are mistaken when we look forward to death; the major portion of death has already passed. Whatever years be behind us are in death\u2019s hands.<\/p>\n – Letter 1, On Saving Time<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n Sounds morbid for sure but take it from me, in healthcare we learn something that goes beyond any textbook of medicine, and that is the value of time. \u00a0Last week, for the last time, I held the hand of a 19-year-old patient of mine before we lost her fight to brain cancer.<\/p>\n So enjoy this moment, learn and give freely, let the law of reciprocity work its gentle magic in your life and good things will find you…<\/p>\n In the words of Pat Flynn:<\/p>\n 1) Thank you.<\/strong> – Stephen<\/p>\n P.S. You can download the free\u00a0Seneca Podcast\u00a0on iTunes and of course Snippet<\/a>\u00a0or\u00a0view the audioblog here<\/a>. \u00a0I plan on getting back to work on it now that I have some motivation. Also check out my 71-year-old dad and I trying to find some zen with our new Zen Habits Audioblog<\/a> and Podcast<\/a>. He has lost 5 pounds just by reading it. It may be the best diet on earth. I will talk more about this and share some more links in my next blog post.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" It is not the man who has too little, but the man who craves more, that is poor. – Seneca, Letters from a Stoic Sometimes in life we find ourselves in surprising places, for example how in God’s good name did my picture end up next to Pat Flynn and Paul Jarvis? 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<\/p>\n\n
\n2) I appreciate you.<\/p>\n
\n-Pat Flynn<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n
The Law of Reciprocity<\/h2>\n
Reciprocity and The Business Person<\/h2>\n
The Right Way<\/h2>\n
\n
\n
The Wrong Way<\/h2>\n
With Great Power\u2026<\/h2>\n
What Can You Do Today?<\/h2>\n
The King of Free<\/strong><\/h2>\n
\n 2) I appreciate you!<\/strong><\/p>\n